Liner Notes from The Persistence of Dreaming solo piano album. (These notes do not appear on the CD cover)
1. Fictional Lives
I sit inside a self constructed silo built of ideals. The walls are plastered with dreams and desires. Until the moment I see beyond the filters of my perception of “my life”, no true interaction happens. The image I have of myself, of others and the whole world is a fiction in my head. Living life from this has no authenticity. I reject the contradictions of reality when they appear. The fictional life centres on me and my drama, so appears more entertaining than the real one. Still, there lies an unease that things don’t always seem to go the way they should. Reality encroaches.
2. Song for Lisa
Sometimes the muse manifests in experience, in nature or the environment. Other times she inhabits people to speak through and make herself heard by her artist Inspiration is a fickle thing, the muse may reside in one place for a while, then be absent for years. As I wrote this song, the muse spoke through friendship. I hope that some one else’s muse speaks through me or my work and the creative inspiration is passed on.
3. The Third Person
Neither you or me, the third person is him or her. In it’s literary sense, the third person is an impersonal, objective viewpoint. Through meeting with the objects of our lives, we play out our egocentric tendencies. The dynamics of any interaction change with the presence of a third person. Can a third person ever be put before the first person?
4. Optimist’s Folly
The optimist looks on the bright side, but turns his back on the dark side, oblivious to the shadow he casts. Hope gives direction, but to cling to this path and reject others is the optimist’s folly. He becomes lost for choice when the hope held in such esteem becomes not a source of inspiration, but a desire that cannot be compromised.
5. The Persistence of Dreaming
Where a dream is, there is aspiration and hope. In face of all of the tragedies of existence, humans have the capacity to persistently dream of “a better life”. They also have the capacity to persistently dream of tragedies. Or to cling to a dream that is past it’s expiry date. The dreams of better life that contradict possibility become a persistent torment when they draw the unwary away from engagement in life as it is.
6. Three Kinds of Distance
We are geographically separated, yet proximity can be as destructive to relationship as distance. The chronological distance of time and age stamp their claim on any relationship. Too much time apart, or too much time together. Or just the right person, but the wrong time. Then there is the interpersonal distance. What is too close? What is too far? Through range and rate of proximity, harmony is found and lost.
7. Awakening to Darkness
Ignorant of our own nature, we manipulate others and place demands on them. And on ourselves. Sometimes I think I see all the suffering I have created in myself and in my world. Shocking, but it wont be denied. Yin doesn’t exist without Yang. Yet, we deny what we think is “good” in our life contains within it what we deem “bad”. Darkness is latent in light. To live a full and rich life is to embrace all its shades. Otherwise it all becomes a bit grey...
8. Unsaid, Undone
Regret is a painful place to dwell. Reflection leads to new directions and commitments. Too often, we fail to leave behind the injustices we have caused - through action or inaction. Things change, people come and go. What is important is sometimes only seen in retrospect. The chances we missed to express and live out what mattered most - those holes in our lives, can become the most haunting ghosts.
9. Presence Beyond Absence
The spider isn’t on my windscreen. It’s vacation from my vision makes my skin crawl. In absence, it’s presence is more terrifying. My mind creates the demons that plague me, when no threat is before me.
10. The Uncomfortable Present
I can think of so many things that I’d rather stress about than face the sensations emotion has spawned in it’s raw feeling. In constantly trying to avoid discomfort, the pain is never experienced - life never lived, lesson never learnt. To exist with the current experience is to see the fanciful nature of our lives dramas.
11. Reality Revealed
In reflection, you can see it’s always been there. “I knew it from the start.” How is it that so long has passed without acknowledging the very ground on which you tread? With one crack in the walls of fabricated life, reality seeps in and throws its light on all that is unseen or ignored.
12. Alone, in a Pressing Crowd of Thoughts
So many images, scents and feelings. So much intensity, so many ways the story didn’t end. In the midst of the noise and oppression of the confused mind, the constructed self feels lonely and disconnected.